You Asked. Jules Answered: How Can I Be Comfortable Out Of My Comfort Zone?


Dear Jules,

    What tips could you provide for someone who is debating when is the best time to make a break from on old, comfortable job that is no longer stimulating to branching out to start a new solo business that is a lot more exciting (passionate), but less “known”? I am typically risk adverse, but am having a hard time “getting over it” and making the leap!

NEXT for Women’s resident life and confidence coach, Jules, weighs in below:

I come across so many women (and men) in similar situations asking the same thing. Making a big change in your life requires some understanding and a change in perspective too.

It is natural for you to want to know ‘when is the best time’ as there is an aspect of your mind that is looking for certainty/comfort, to make sure that you ‘get it right’. But making this kind of change is much the same as buying a house, having a child or getting married/divorced. There is no specific best or right time. The part of your mind that needs this certainty will justify why it is best to stay where you are, give you all the reasons you needs under the sun to confirm that making the move may not be the best thing for you and maybe you need to wait, because it wants to stay comfortable. But how long have you been waiting?

There is paradoxically another need of your mind which is uncertainty/variety, the challenge is that the comfortable part has become so much easier to do that when we look to step out into the unknown it gets scared and thus can keep us where we are. So work through the below and I trust that it will give you what you need right now to move to the next stage, whatever that might be for you.

Being Comfortable Out of Your Comfort Zone.

    Fact v’s Fiction

We have great imaginations that make stuff up, unfortunately out minds don’t know the difference between the real and imagined so help it out. Make a list of all the facts you have about the situation. Then list all the assumptions you are creating. Before you move on check back over the facts, are they all really facts or are there some things that you are assuming? Cross out all assumptions and focus just on the facts.

Taking ‘Control’

Now take a few minutes to write out what you are ‘scared’ of – which is what risk aversion is about, is it not? Go through your list and again check for fact and fiction.

Then ask yourself ‘What do I need to feel comfortable with this change?’ Your mind will come up with all sorts of demands, allow them to flow but again challenge them and this time ask ‘How can I feel comfortable about …’ Go through each demand and look for what you can do and eliminate what you can’t. This is where you will start to sort out what the real challenges are that face you versus the big monsters that your mind has created.

One Step

Now you will have a clearer idea of what is fact and what you can do, or will at least now be looking for solutions. Chose one thing off your list and go and do it.


Please do let us know how you get on and ask away if this leads to more questions!

Thank you for taking the time and … Remember – believe in yourself!

Jules is a leading specialist in self confidence and self belief for working women -and NEXT for Women’s resident life and confidence coach. Founder of The Confidence Garden and Lead Coach at Positive Belief, she is the only woman to reach the finals of “Britain’s Next Top Coach.” Jules has been featured on BBC radio, within the UK press, and has served as guest speaker on a variety of global telesummits. She is an inspiration to thousands of women and her talks about her own personal journey from the depths of doubt into a world of possibilities offer a fresh, positive perspective on life.

Need advice on how to deal with a difficult situation at work? Want tips to boost your self esteem? Submit your question for Jules here!


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