Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.
Uncertainty brings stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we REALLY want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.
We can’t choose what happens to us – but we CAN choose our RESPONSES to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how YOU habitually respond. Notice I said YOU. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved. Think Boss vs. Mother In Law. (smile)
The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
The second type of response is to accept the situation, and to get some perspective on it. Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – TAKING ACTION to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.
It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish.
Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today? Which response feels better? Serves you better? Moves your team forward more effectively? Decreases your stress?
REMEMBER – It is YOUR Choice!
Nicoa is the Managing Partner of Holland Archer and President and Chief Relationship Rover of Roving Coach International where she brings 16 years of experience in global corporate communications and strategic human resources (HR). As a strategic business partner and coach, her collaborative approach to innovative problem solving is refreshing and motivating for those working with her. An undergraduate of NC State University, master’s of arts graduate from Ball State University and certified in international business administration from Charles Sturt University (Australia), her career background also includes 8+ years with GE, where she graduated from the GE Human Resources Leadership Program (HRLP). Her 4+ years with Thermo Fisher Scientific (TMO) spanned 20 countries and included over 10,000 employees in her client group. And most recently as the SVP of HR for Allscripts Healthcare Solutions where she provided key leadership in the transformation of Misys Healthcare, positioning the company and culture for growth and the ultimate merger with Allscripts — creating the NEW Allscripts (MDRX).