Ask Jules: The Wizardry Of Fear

Dear Jules,

I’ve been at my job for two years, and I think I have done a good job, but I have never been promoted! I know I should talk to my boss and what I should say, but I’m so nervous! How can I be less afraid to go after what I want?

-Jordan

Dear Jordan,

I am part of a global course, which 120 people have signed up for. Part of the course is a monthly webinar call where you get to have your questions answered by the experts. It’s a regular session to get the support you need – and yet less than 20% of people show for these great calls!

Researchers have done countless studies on how many people actually read the business and development books they buy. The numbers are grim, but the percent of people who actually put what they’ve learned into practice is dismal. The average is less than 3%.

When I discovered this, I was shocked. We have access to so much helpful information, and yet, so few of us follow through. Why? Of course so much of it is down to that beast in the corner…Fear! I could beat around the bush but let’s just cut to the chase with fear, so you can get on with your career and living!

Fearful imaginings.
The only fear that is real is if your life is genuinely at risk at that moment in time, i.e if someone pulls a gun. We are wired for survival and so when this kind of situation occurs (which is very rare!) fear kicks in to protect us and do what it can to ‘save us’. That means that any other fear that you have is imagined. Created. Constructed by your mind. Therefore: not real! Easy to say, yet challenging to get out of when you’re living in it.

Pull back the curtain.
Have you ever seen the film “The Wizard of Oz”? There is a scene in the film when the Wizard – “the great and powerful Wizard of Oz” is revealed as a little man behind a curtain with smokes machines, lights and a microphone! Your fears are like that “great and powerful wizard” – seemingly indomitable, but ultimately imaginary. When you realize that ‘fear’ is stopping you from doing something, ask yourself this… ‘Is my life in danger…really?’ I imagine the answer will be no. Thus, just remind yourself that your mind is constructing this fear. ‘This fear is being created by my mind and I can choose at anytime to construct something more helpful.’ You’ll notice that the moment the curtain is pulled back to reveal the constructed ‘Wizard,’ he loses power. The moment you reveal the truth behind your curtain – that your fear has been constructed – your fear will begin to lose power!
Remember, believe in yourself.

 

 

 

Jules is a leading specialist in self confidence and self belief for working women -and NEXT for Women’s resident life and confidence coach. Founder of The Confidence Garden and Lead Coach at Positive Belief, she is the only woman to reach the finals of “Britain’s Next Top Coach.” Jules has been featured on BBC radio, within the UK press, and has served as guest speaker on a variety of global telesummits. She is an inspiration to thousands of women and her talks about her own personal journey from the depths of doubt into a world of possibilities offer a fresh, positive perspective on life.

Need advice on how to deal with a difficult situation at work? Want tips to boost your self esteem? Submit your question for Jules here!

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