How do I cope with the doubts I have that I’m just bluffing my way through things? I feel like I have no idea what I am doing! -Anna
NEXT for Women’s resident life and confidence coach, Jules, weighs in below!
A female executive whom I coach asked me the above question recently and I thought it was appropriate to bring up for two reasons:
• To Clarify Bluffing and Its Use
There are times when we are asked whether we can do something and we bluff our way through saying ‘yeah, sure’, when internally we are thinking [insert expletive of choice here]. Sometimes, saying yes can be greatly beneficial. By pushing our buttons, the ‘project’ could give us the opportunity to step up, stretch our knowledge, and gain experience. You might achieve something you originally thought impossible. Go you! If this has happened to you, make sure to take note of the doubts that came up. You now have contrary evidence to tackle them with and to handle for future doubt-fuelled moments. Furthermore, taking the time to acknowledge your achievements helps to ‘lock’ them into your memory.
• To Highlight That Similar Thoughts and Feelings Can Arise In All of Us
No matter where we are on the career ladder we often make the assumption that the people above us do not have the same worries, doubts, and fears that we do. I too had this assumption, until a colleague of mine highlighted some research stating that out of 100 global financiers, the lowest position held being Vice President, 94 of them put ‘increased self-belief’ as their no.1 reason for wanting coaching! Never assume.
That being said, far too many people bluff their way into something and then either under-deliver or don’t deliver at all, which can be damaging to a reputation. If this has happened to you, don’t beat yourself up about what you did or did not do: stop and reflect on what you have learned. More specifically, consider what you could do differently if a similar situation arose in the future.
“To bluff or not to bluff? That is the question”. Can you rise to the challenge? Or, do you need to step back and be more honest with yourself? Regardless of your answer, you must first banish your self-doubt in order to rise to the next level of personal achievement.
Remember, believe in yourself.
Jules is a leading specialist in self confidence and self belief for working women -and NEXT for Women’s resident life and confidence coach. Founder of The Confidence Garden and Lead Coach at Positive Belief, she is the only woman to reach the finals of “Britain’s Next Top Coach.” Jules has been featured on BBC radio, within the UK press, and has served as guest speaker on a variety of global telesummits. She is an inspiration to thousands of women and her talks about her own personal journey from the depths of doubt into a world of possibilities offer a fresh, positive perspective on life.
Need advice on how to deal with a difficult situation at work? Want tips to boost your self esteem? Submit your question for Jules here!